Thursday, 29 March 2012

I do not like Gross Kids and Ham

I've a bit of a shameful secret, in that it's not really a secret and I'm not really ashamed. I never used to like kids, I'm not terribly fond of dogs either but I would never be mean to them, but when I was in my teens (late teens can't even blame it on early youth) I would make a point of trying to trip up any screaming, obnoxious kid running wild in a supermarket.

I was a middle child with four and five and half years on either side of me, I was the first out of my friends to have a baby (and get married, divorced and remarried for that matter) and my older sister was raising her children a few states away. Therefore I had no experience with kids, things that I would let slide today, just bugged me. Mind, even saying that it's not quite true, for even though I would love to believe I am cool, hippy-dippy, super-chilled Mum, the truth is my kids are driving me nuts, pestering me as I try and type this.

With all that said, I love being a Mum now, my kids have amazing personalities and Miss Five is without a doubt one of the most unintentionally funny people I have ever met in my life. I had my eldest three days before I turned twenty, so I was technically a teen mum and at seventeen I am amazed at the person he is becoming. I look at him and think, "Didn't do too badly, there is hope for the other three." When he was born, I was in shock and so without a clue, I wasn't sure which way was up.

When he was four and I was heavily pregnant with his brother, and I had explained that "Mummy has a fat tummy as she's growing the baby in there." When we were next out for a walk we were behind a clinically obese woman and he shouts out in his pipingly loud voice "MUM! That woman has pregnant fat on her arms, on her legs and everywhere!" Yep, kids will get you hung.

And they can be gross and obnoxious, loud and little pests who don't give you a moment's peace. Wouldn't change it for the world? Please, I would change it in a heartbeat, especially if I could skip that crippling post natal depression that I had with the first two. I love them dearly but I was no natural earth mother, to be honest I've never met anyone who was, closest is my husband and he's so laid back he's horizontal and even he wants time off for good behaviour now and again.

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